clean up this room

It has been a while..

2011-06-12T20:23:00.000-06:00

i feel old re reading all this

its a sine!

2010-02-24T23:51:00.003-07:00

mia's new album is being produced by diplo, features collaborations with sleigh bells and rusko; and is rumored to sound like animal collective (new i assume)? what? that is cool of you mia to take whoever is on top of the current most popular genres and mixing them into one block of what i predict to be mangled and busy noise.. ya it has never been done before i bet right, besides every fallen star attempting to remain relevant. but mia is still popular i thought?
lately i have noticed the only thing able to quench-my-musical-thirst is a strong pulse / heavy bass line.. ex old deerhunter, circle takes the square, n harder stylesz. i pray no one can hear the music playing on my earbudz as i work diligently in school

the other day catlin and i took the 24 ogden ALL the way to the industrial wastelands of calgary. there were no people or cars just 9000 gigantic rectangular beige buildings and a handfull of smokestacksz here n there. we were headed to the humane society to pick up the kitten catlin had requested to adopt. the kitten carl, (either simon or russel now), was the most beautiful russian leopard grey and black and white snow tiger i have ever seen and makes me so depressed i dont have one.. i wish my mom wasnt allergic to all animal dandruff basically??

everytime i watch vids of carl sagans speeches, or episodes of cosmos, i get so down that he is dead. it is such a loss, a unique thinking man with the earnest desire to spread knowledge and ideas deserved much more. he had a lot left to contribute UHGhrlgkjef "In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. " "The cosmos is also within us.. were made of star stuff.. we are a way for the cosmos to know itself" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc&feature=player_embedded <--- carl how were u so cool

i went for a run today with erin ahaha who am i. after digging up my old kangaroo-leather soccer shoes we embarked on a half hour adventure.. good time and i am actually somewhat tired for once in my life eh maybe i will go more often

interview at the ruins

2010-02-21T19:32:00.004-07:00

something cool almost happened to me for once,
i was so close, i could envision it so clearly
w/e lol i didnt think it would work out anywayz

seeing as how i have been 8 different people in my life so far i wonder if i am who i will be yet? i cannot even decide if this would be a good or bad thing

write me back university please am i conditionally accepted or what!?

k̀l͍̘̟̠͉̖̅ͪͤh̟̞̰͈͉ͅl͉ͭ ̯̹͚̹̂̀ͤ̚k͂ͧ̈́͌҉̟̥̙̹ͅl͗͂̿̆͛͌ͪ©̳͔̉͒̇͗ͯȏ̮̯͎ù̪͎̟̫̪̂ͬ̆̔̂
i̷̹͈͕͇̐́̐͒ͣg̭̪̗̦̹̣̅̄͑ͯ̈̚o̢̪͉͖̪͒u̴͙̖̩̜̬͔̯ͭͧ̏ͧy̻̦̱g̻̗ͦ̅
͂ͤ͝ ̐̽ͣ͋̏͏̜ˆ̙̰͖̠͛̕©͔̟̩͉̮̆̿ͅƒ͔̠̮̔ˆ̴̜̥̹̖̯͔†̷͚̻̮̤̫̫̌ͦͨ¥̸̞
͔͖͌͌ƒ͎͈̳̰̓̈͂ͫ́̑ͅ¨̉̓͗̈ͦ͝¥͉̼͈͕̙̿́̾©͔̯̞̻͔̝͐̄͋̕˙̶̰̥͇̫̲
̀̊ͪͥͪ̉∆̣͚̱̫̹ ̈́̌ͨ̆̀ͪ͏̪͖͖̖̰̖ ̴̣͉͕̘̼ͣ͋̈̅̓̓͐¨̡̗̬̱̥ͧ̽̔͌̆ͅ¥̻̟͛̾̈́̉͛̍̔ƒ̢̲̥̦͉̥̊̄ͫ́͌̃̋
u̶̞̖̗̘y̠̳̯͟gͥ͂ͯ͘ ̵͇̯̹̾̋͛̓ ̸̼͓̞̩̺̹͌̐͂̊̔̊ ̥̗̙̍̋̿̾̐͆¥̙̜͚̦̯̃̆̀ƒ̨̭͈̭̜̈́́̃̊g̡̱̥̭͓̪͚͎̒͋̾ͭ̈́̐̃˚̬ͣ̏͑
͊̀©͈͔̱̊ͦ͊˙̛̦̬̥̖̈́ͤ̈́ ̣ͥ̊͒ ̜̳̺̩ͧ̉ͧ͢˙̨̓͂̅̑∆̰̞̠͒͑ͅ˚̢͙̙ͨͥ͐ͮͩ͐̚ ̨̜̭͊ͨ̐ͦ̓˚̮̱̞
̠̥͖ͭ̂͑͐͌¬̶͔̠̖̝̊̔͐

atlantis

2010-02-14T00:59:00.002-07:00

the powerlines by my house sound cool when its misty
like aliens or something metallic

dana made me chocomint vday cookies. her and i ate a&w twice in 6 hours, i have coupons what of it.. i think more burger joints should start using whole cut rings of onion on their burgers as opposed to that shredded pickled shit utilized by mcdonalds

i think sometimes that i have missed out on certain moments and memories someone my age should have. ive never had a real best friend 'aka' known any of my friends for more than a couple years, ive never gone camping or had a cute hIgHscHOoL relationship ETCETERA
but then i remember that i could caaaare less and the previous momentary lapse was just a reflection of the lives of the rest of the world. whatever floats ur boat

last of the mohicans

please stand up

2010-02-09T23:37:00.004-07:00

I anticipated the grade 12 retreat would be a lot worse that it actually was. There were no bullshit false nostalgia instilling activities, no cheesy life lessons, and most importantly no interacting with people I do not know or care to know. (Ha ha I am so social, looking forward to seeing how I will make out next year going to school in a foreign land?).
Instead we just sat and listened to a motivational speaker who talked for hours about how he overcame meningitis, mentored Hilary Swank, and was the first person to run the Great Wall of China/ I thought he was an ok guy and pretty interesting, did not feel like 3 hours to me.
...Later today Joey sends me a link to the website of a man who was very similar to our speaker... Among various other similarities, he was also claiming to be the first man to run the Great Wall, they both raised money for cleft palate surgeries and O YA, they have the same name , but are CLEARLY not the same person?!! As I dig deeper through this very professionally done site I realize that our speaker had shown us pictures this guy had uploaded? huh? Did my school hire a conman who just read the real David Grier's book, (ya hes publishedDdD ... So who am I putting my money on actually exists as who they say they are?)?

WhAT
IS
THIS

I don't know anyone in Victoria, but I am more than down with 50hours-of-sunlight Decembers!? Keeping in touch with people is going to be a chore and I probably won't after a while, I will try to see everyone when I come back for Summer I guess. I know I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch but whatever. It will kind of be cool not knowing anyone.. I can go for walks by myself and listen to music and never stop and chat?

no one on earth knows me liike u do

2010-02-06T01:47:00.004-07:00

I am proud of myself.. I am sticking2something
I feel moth like weeoeoeooweo
I wish people would interact the way I want them to interact

The futures friendly, I am looking forward to wading deeper into its waters

sleep is counter-productive
i dont need attention span aaaahhhhhhhh

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*****
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I I I I i am so self centred

Dendrite Dandelions

2010-01-31T02:17:00.005-07:00

Have you ever been wrongly accused - I mean, have you ever been presented with the notion that you may have done something which you're sure you haven't? Did this notion, as dense and dry as you may have thought it to be, plant a tiny seed in the back-of-your-head?
Perhaps / Possibly / Maybe you know what I am preaching about? Yes?
Did you feel the pressure when the seed took root in the doubt lining the underbrush of your cerebrum? Sprouting like tree roots ascending the surface of city streets and sidewalks, into the fresh air sunlight of conscious thought? Fertilized by your own insecurities and self-confidence short-comings, blossoming into false(?) realizations and actualization? Second, third, fourth guessing whether your neurons were accurately firing pre or post impregnation? Now or before? You can't have your cake and eat it too..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Not me, I can. I'm not like the rest of them! I know what I am. My mind is hard and sturdy, branching out into broad beauty and brilliance. You can not just pluck me out of the ground, I've dug-down-deep.

Ignore the blatant over exaggeration of my own self assurance.
Whats with all these question marks, who put these here? Goddammit.

100mgs part 2

2010-01-26T02:07:00.005-07:00

The effervescent crescendo of sensory awareness has dissipated
metamorphisizing into an acute and flat state of perceptibility
the wavering denouement of my consciousness

Fading in and out, riding the harsh wake of static
reminiscent of amplitude modulation talk shows in the AM
driving through venus under the valleys over the vultures

There is no meaning

where does all the data go?
flashing binary code?
0101010010110101OHOHFUCKMELOVEME

this is all we have to show, desperation

"Everybody Hertz"

Sagan, I will make you proud

flit flit flit flit flit

2010-01-18T23:14:00.003-07:00

Humming birds, theres no sucrose fructose glucose in my white matter
focus focus focus focus focus la vida anfetamina
Fuck over romanticizing plot, fuck the "exploitation of human emotion". Everything is too "out there". I am all for creativity slash unique interpretation, I just don't see the point in immersing yourself in a story line you cannot believe is plausible, or so blatantly manufactured with the intent to i dont even know W/E this doesnt work my thought are not compatible with this language.
In summary, 90% of the shit on tv piSseS meE oFf

am/pm

2010-01-17T14:42:00.002-07:00

This weekend was cool, one of my friends almost died shaking and convulsing in her bathtub.. Luckily myself and my friend who I was with at the time, with the help of WebMD are basically doctors so everything was a-ok in the end. I have never seen someone so out of it and wanting to die!?

i should start going to school for more than 2 hours a day again...

hire me i have 24$ to my nameeee

white

2010-01-04T01:10:00.002-07:00

what am i dooooooing with my life, what can i do? what will hold my attention for a while? why do i get sick of doing thing almost as soon as i start them? why did i not take art 20 and 30 so i would have something to put in my portfolio and possibly go to art school? at least art is something i am decent at, (not really tecnique wise or anything but i can look at something and think of how to make it more aesthetically pleasing?), and that i enjoy.
when did i turn into such a little fuck, i just caught myself haaaating someone just because the music they listen to is shit HAHA who do i think i am there is nothing that makes me special, your family probably has more money than mine, (only considering the fact that i am illin with west van kids for the next little while), you probably get better grades than me, what am i even saying jesus christ i am so tired.... also why do i need to justify/explain myself to you internet? hidden insecurtities? HAHAH sonny moore forvever eh

vancouver is dope hesh i have never illed with friend from home in another city before? what is with all these out of place question marks?

this
blog
is
shit

imprison my astrology

2009-12-29T15:13:00.002-07:00

its been a while!666

wake up late/stay up late this is a horrible cycle i am just fucking myself over, i feel like it cannot be helped though... i set my alarm, it goes off, i get up, turn it off, then next thing i am aware of is that it is somehow 4 hours later and i am lying on my floor. cool rite

my head is constanly up in the clouds give me multivitamins, give me caffeine, give me some fucking sleeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp, so that for once i may be able to do something productive with myself eh. i do not want to go back to school but i hate lying around home doing shit all, lurking fb thinking of how much i hate people. why are you so dumb like wtf wtf wtf wtf twtfwtftwftwftwftwftwtftwtdfetrfewftaesm.,fdshgfnbg,fx i am not 100% genius myself but im not stupidddd and i am able for the most part to keep myself together and shit idk where i am going with this whatever and should stop being negative nancy and actually go do something as opposed to sitting here and complaining

i stand on the corner of the block slinging amethyst rocks drinking 40s of mother earths private nectar stock
dodging cops and i need a fix of that purple rain the type of shit that drives membranes insane
o ya im in the fast lane snorting candy yams that free my body and soul and send me like shazaam
never question who iiiiiiiiiiii am

time 2 drop off resumes fuck ya
as if i have not applied at over 110 places already cu

we were a gold mine

2008-09-04T21:01:00.003-06:00

i liiike being back at school, its fun making friends and eating hickory sticks with your old ones. i some how managed to get 33 credits last year, i'm sure someday, some how i will finish grade 10 too.
why is it so hard to form strings of thought? everything seems to be tangled, like half the things i think and say don't make sense? i am so weird and clingy and happy, props to those who tolerate me~
my mind really is all over the place these days!

stumps r us

2008-09-02T20:53:00.002-06:00

i started considering doing a bit of work on a social project i've been putting off since last year
but i have no motivation
and i feel stupid
school makes me so discouraged
failfailfailfailfailfailfailfailfailfailkillme

at least felix is back in town

les matins de paris (surkin remix) - teki latex
strict machine ( we are glitter mix) - goldfrapp
& down (siriusmo vs boys noize remix) - boys noize

are u allergique to penecillin?

2008-08-14T09:36:00.006-06:00

I feel like I'm becoming such a boring person. All I do is work work work and occasionaly go over to Felix's house or see Tess. W/e I'm over it because I know I will always be badass at heart <33

Ahah Bjork is so cute, I want to go to Iceland and find her.

Mer du Japon (the Teenagers remix) - Air
Lost and Found - Exchpoptrue
Dancing Queen (Abba Cover Live) - the Sugarcubes

the world is such a funny place filled with such funny people

2008-08-13T09:42:00.002-06:00

Recently I've been seeing and hearing from lots of people I haven't talked to in forever. Everyone is still exactly the same. When I hear things like "people change", I don't even understand. The way we look changes, sometimes the ways we act and of course we grow and mature, but does our personality and who we actually are ever really differ from what we started with?
Fuck me I am so deep.

Summer is three quarters over. I won't work a the university anymore, Felix will probably go home and I will go back to school. ANGSTANGSTANGST

My life is so boring hah!

Hunter - Bjork
Emergency - Passions

sick

2008-04-01T18:22:00.000-06:00

I am so sick, all of my body hurts, even my teeth. My nose won't stop bleeding, i haven't showered in like 5 days and I really want some Arby's. I need to get better by Friday.

last day of spring break

2008-03-30T18:41:00.000-06:00

Dad and Amy are back from England. They bought me a football and a pair of underwear. lol.

I don't want to go back to school, I was supposed to finish 5 units of trigonometry, I haven't done shit. oh well, I don't really care aha.

I'm thinking of flying out to Vancouver April 16 -21. I need to get out of Calgary and plus it will be Hayley's birthday.

SCHOOL TOMORROW FUCK.